From the very first time toke launched her book and I read a few excerpts, I knew in my mind that I wanted to do a review of her book. There has been mixed reactions from people on her book and I believe she expected it.
On becoming is a can’t-drop-till-I-am-done-book and I must applaud toke for her strength. Life threw lemons at her and she made lemonades out of it. She did a very good job telling her story same time driving home her message.
Majorly my concentration will be on why she stayed with her ex with all the obvious signs. I once asked a group of friends if love is strength or weakness and they all said strength. Reading, you can tell toke grew up from a very strong Christian background with parents who love their children and then having to lose all that at a very young age, she was forced to grow up. She was lucky she had her big mummy to take over even though she didn’t make it easy for them but I guess she needed something more.
Toke took alot from her ex and a friend of mine told me she did all that for the fame and money but I think not. Ranging from cheating (which is a major deal breaker for most people), left her at the court twice, sex tape with another woman and you say all that for money. From all she said she was doing fine herself. Also even if all toke’s friends are bad, I am sure there is that one friend who will stick it out with her and gave her reasons to leave her ex but she still stayed till she said I do.
So why did she stay?
I in particular have reservations for relationships that last longer than necessary. You are not sealing the deal but you are still together. For me it’s like you are not sure of that person, just marking time. Toke has known her ex for more than ten years. From her teenage years till the marriage eventually crashed. Apart from the obvious fact that she loved him deeply there is something else about women who stay long in relationships. I read this somewhere and then I took note of all my friends who are finding it difficult to walk out of their relationship and I saw it’s true. When women get into relationships they show you their best part and their purpose and then the man loves them for that. It gets to a point they start to feel threatened about the relationship breaking so all that comes to mind is wanting to become all that he wants so he does not look outside. Loosing who you really are as a person. She said she bleached her skin because she felt the reason he was cheating was because he liked light skinned girls. She also agreed to do a sex tape with him even if she had her own fears about doing a sex tape but she did all for him. At that point most times for the woman it all about the man.
When some women love, I can’t help but say they help their man fan his ego by staying when they should leave. Most men end up taking it for granted. Toke did help fan his ego. I watched his video after the break up and you can tell from his body language that he regrets his actions. A baby is involved now. He has to be a daddy to another lady’s son. I guess for her then was the time to leave. What more is left to fight for. Someone once told me that if you have no control over your emotions then you are doomed. You don’t let your heart rule over your brain. That was her greatest weakness and then waiting to be accepted by her ex, forgetting herself in the process but in it all she became a pretty fine woman (lol allow my English).
Agree or disagree, your thoughts are welcomed
