WALKING MY PATH.

I choose to trust whether it's okay to trust or not and to believe whether it's okay to or not. For me, its one of the miracles of living. While some people may think it's stupidity then i must say it's okay to be stupid if that's what it takes to trust and believe in people (lol.....) but i choose to believe differently.........its a miracle not stupidity. That was the case when I first got to know about "world life experience".


I was seated in the sitting room one morning during the last days in the month of June keeping myself updated with the happenings around me when I decided to check my timeline on face book. Its become a norm that I will always find something new and just as I thought I saw a sponsored post "world life experience". I went through its content and I was drawn in so I checked its website it reads " travel, discover and share experience". 12 lucky people will tour the world (40 countries) within a year with two weeks break four times and getting paid for it. First though of anyone is that its an adventure of a life time (smiles.....) But while on it, they will carry out different social activity. For me that was the deal breaker. It wasn't just going to be an adventure but lives will be touched ( you want to know more about WLE then check their website www.worldlifeexperience.com and also their social media pages).

I told my brother about it and he said "scam alert"( lol.....). He said that because of the 9£ that will be paid before you can complete your application (lol....). Even before telling him I read a few comments on the post I saw and there were a lot of people questioning the reality of the project. I mean it's a big one and looks unrealistic to some people (lol....) But that is when I choose to believe and to trust. I thought whoever would have though of such idea (lending a hand to people while having an adventure) will come off as sincere and it's a bigger risk to not be a part because of 9£(lol....). It's so much courage for everybody who applied because there were thousands of people from all over the world applying and the chances of being among the twelve (ermm.......thinking) I believe the answer will be in binary (lol.....). I went ahead with my application and along the line I had issues with making my payment plus the website was down for weeks (sigh......). Eventually when they came back online and the deadline was pushed forward, yet again there were questions on the reality of the project if they can't handle such issues (WLE greatest challenge during application days). Still I wasn't able to make payment as a result of the payment method not working with my country so I sent an email. Again deadline was moved to the 7th of August (sigh....) and another payment method enabled as a result of people like me left behind who haven't completed their survey. I was able to make payment and complete survey during this time and then all applicants had the long wait (lol...).

Website down again after 7th of August but social media pages buzzing with information of progress and a lot of anticipation from candidates all over the world. People were following through to see what becomes of their fate on the journey and finally in September we all saw what we have been waiting for. 5th of September I saw on my timeline that 84 preselected moving on to the next stage with two more stages before finally getting the twelve. Everybody was to get an email but already there were comments and all comments were not selected, not selected, not selected (sigh......lol). By then I haven't gotten any email yet. But I think I saw two selected from the 84. So where are the rest???. Not everybody has gotten an email yet and we've been told already it may take a little time and to make sure to check all email folders.

A few people started to raise eyebrows and question how the selection process was done, where are the 84, why weren't they good enough. A lot of why, where, when, how.......(sigh....lol). So WLE uploaded the first photo image of the names of the 84 preselected but brought down the post after they came under fire from the public. I didn't see that photo image but saw the newly uploaded one. There were comments about why WLE brought down the post with all the comments ( apparently they were negative comments). I went through the list of the 84 but found it to be greatly unbalanced. 23/84 from spain , 17/84 from Brazil with other countries represented. Some continents were sparsely represented like Africa, Asia, Oceania and we have 41 persons from just two countries. I shook my head and thought they made a really big mistake. I expected more from WLE as someone who had faith in them but was indifferent about the whole list thing(lol...).

WLE posted again how the 84 were selected and so I checked to see how it was done but I stopped in my track when I saw the stake for the selection was raised different from what was advertised and by then I totally lost faith in them. There was no fairness at all. Negative comments on their page and people giving up on WLE. so I decided to send an email. I tagged it "my two cent". I requested for the email to sent to the appropriate team in charge. I wrote about how I had so much faith in WLE and it staying long only if things were done right. I wrote about my reasons for not wanting to be a part of the second season because of the unbalance in the list and WLE raising her stake to select the 84 different from what I was to believe when I applied and hoped things will be looked into. I wasn't expecting any reply as that was just me giving my thoughts. Surprisingly I got a reply from Antonio Dias and he had this to say about how it turned out
       "I really understand your point, as I respect your side             as well your feelings. 

            However all the process have been made by                           recruitment specialists   they need criteria to select              and for this first edition,  it's important that                               everything goes well, so they considered the                           traveling experience relevant on this  event.

          It's a long journey, and it's really important to the                     upcoming events that everything goes as we                      planned, so we need to guarantee all the right                         conditions.

•     We want to show to everyone that we are                            transparent with the selection process, but this is our          first event, we can make mistakes, but I promise that I          will learn with every mistake to be able to correct all               them on the next event. I apologize sincerely if                       something look not fair, but I m working hard to                      transform this on a truly experience. "

We exchanged a few more emails and we became friends (it was that easy.....lol). More importantly than being friends I got know he is as polite as polite can be and a sincere person. He also spoke about his love to meet new people from different cultures, sharing his view, getting others life perspectives and his wish to start a way for everyone to enjoy those rich experiences all over the world (I believe that is where WLE comes in). He is also an open person, can be philosophical (lol.....) and is willing to learn. It was only much later I got to know he is the visionaire behind WLE.

For me I understand that sometimes in life mistakes are inevitable but our willingness to learn and wanting to never stop to make a change makes all the difference. When Antonio asked me if I would love to do an article for WLE, the first thing he said even before i gave him a reply of if i would or not was that it is okay to write about the mistake as that was what truly happened (lol....). He spoke about being courageous to tell the truth and bracing up for whatever comes afterwards.

Today I am happy I walked my path with WLE. After all for me aside the adventure is the lives that will be touched all over the world that counts.

I believe in WLE and its success. How many more are with me?....lol.

Kisses and hugs.

MY COMEBACK.....

Smiling........So once in a while I come in here to see how tall the grasses are growing, the weeds taking over the whole the place, cobwebs everywhere and all sorts of imaginable things on an abandoned piece of land (lol...) but each time I leave with a longing in my heart to have my comeback. I mean, I miss my times here and for the life of me can't really remember why I kept pushing my comeback (still thinking.....).

Writing is my get away thing and I have a lot on my note pad already (never stopped writing). After taking the long break my first intention was to have my come back with my story ( my life story) in a series. I had that planned long before I took the break I never intended will take me this long to come back from but I had to cut my break short (shines teeth).

I wanted to share my life story firstly because I wanted to say something to someone, anyone. Sort of make them understand there is someone else here writing (lol...) Probably who can understand and be a shoulder. Secondly because I got several offers and opportunities both locally and internationally during my break to write stories but never took them because I feel I write only articles. So starting with my Story I hope will trigger the imaginary part of my brain for fictional stories (shrugs....lol). Be rest assured I am not dropping the challenge but only pushing it forward, so anticipate.

While on my break I have been asked severally why aren't you blogging again and most times I just give a blank stare with nothing reasonable in my brain to give as my reason (lol...). I know well enough there is no excuse no matter how busy or well not so busy (eyes rolling..) as i might think so I always say "I still blog but just on a break" (scratches head......but did I really stop blogging?). I have had to refer severally to my blog during the past months and remembered I took the break to come back better so it was always on my mind. But I had several encounters that made me realise it was irresponsibility to keep stalling. There were people who followed up and still follow up.

It became more and more necessary each passing day. IFTTT has been a constant reminder to write on my blog and not my note pad, friends&family. Two recent scenarios really made me cut short my holiday. I got a call two days back from a friend and all this person just called to ask was "why have you not done any podcast recently" ( I was dumbstruck ) my saving grace was that, I was where I couldn't talk for long so I excused my self (lol...). I take it as my responsibility to have good answers when asked about my blog and besides, that question could have waited till we saw each other as we live not far apart. Same day, another friend ( how became friends is still amazing as no one would have thought it possible) asked about my blog only after exchanging pleasantries then was when I took a deep breath and decided to cut short the holiday. I have been thinking about it so i just needed to stop thinking (lol...). I understood it could only be out of goodwill and I am sincerely grateful.

So I am back, better and you all really need follow up. Next week I have female genital mutilation as my topic (you don't want to miss). I really want it to be a podcast but I hope I get every guest I want to talk on the podcast together and ready, if not it will be an interesting writeup

STAY TUNED........XOXO.

ONE SOUL.

I wanted to use the ATM some weeks back and met a long queue with a man having the attention of everybody waiting for their turn to withdraw. When I got closer I listened and the first words I heard were "save him first, that person's life is much more important". Hearing that alone, he got my attention a 100%....lol. He spoke with so much passion and apparently was talking about an Issue I had concern about for a while now.

I discovered weeks before the weeks I went to use the ATM a law I never knew existed in Nigeria. One day I was on my way home with my mum and then I noticed a little gathering by roadside with a man in pains. It seems as though everybody was just looking and nobody was helping. So many thoughts crossed my mind and I told my mum that we should help out since everyone was just looking instead of getting into action. My mum stopped me and told me we better mind our business like we saw nothing. I was a little taken aback and then she explained to me like the wise old women in movies do.....lol.

There was an accident and just a few steps away, I saw some police officers gathered collecting money while someone was at the back dying. My reaction was epic...... Lol. A lot of people have this notion of you just don't help people because you want to help them. You could help someone and put yourself in serious trouble with the law for helping. You could get accused of being the one that caused the accident by the police and relatives or while you think you are helping someone, you find yourself in a den of thieves. She told me of different experiences people have shared and I thought about how many lives could have been lost and the people who genuinely needs help. We know how our ambulance system is so unreliable and all the other trouble with our system. I feel everything is a mess.

For once I was seeing someone who spoke with so much passion about saving the soul first and not minding what the other consequences are. Some people looked at him like he suddenly developed horns....lol while others thought he has probably lost his mind. The argument continued and all I did was listen. Before he was able to withdraw and leave I doubt he was able to convince anybody following the counter attacks he was being given and being the only one on a team. But he did a good job. After he left, there was still talk of how he was able to achieve all that without any trouble and I discovered the man in question was a police officer.

But I loved this man's enthusiasm for souls, I loved how he encouraged people and telling them to save lives and that the police were people like us and could be talked to. I don't know this man from anywhere but saying that alone made me feel we are heading for a change. We just need a few more like mind people.

I met with a group of older friends when this topic was discussed again and there was talk of how Nigeria was not like this before, how this laws started, how the whole mess was a seed that was sown a long time ago and grew to this point, the Nigeria of then and now. All I could do was sigh. From their point of view the vices were not this bad. People were not this bad and one begins to wonder when and where did it go wrong.

I wish for a better a Nigeria, a Nigeria where people are not reckless with lives, a Nigeria with less vices and more good people, a Nigeria with comfort, a Nigeria with a voice for the unrepresented, a Nigeria with less unprivileged, a Nigeria where one can easily help, a Nigeria with less corruption and more justice. The list could go on but lastly a Nigeria with one spirit, one mind and one soul.

Thank you very much for reading and let's follow me on Google+, subscribe to my blog and invite others to read my blog

Comments are always welcomed.....kisses and hugs

LIFE WITHOUT COFFEE.

When I decided to write to Dr Afiniki Akanet, I only knew she writes . I knew she is the author of the book "life without coffee" but didn't know anything else about her. She responded to my mail in a very polite and friendly manner that made me feel comfortable to talk to her. She sent me her web address and there was where I discovered every other thing I didn't know about her.

She is definitely a role model and a woman I tag "fully packed". Dr Akanet is a UK medical doctor, entrepreneur, charity trustee, motivational speaker, wife and mother. She is the founder of Forte, Charity for Inspiration and director of Evasitters UK. Afiniki lives in England with her husband, son and daughter. She enjoys encouraging people to make the most of their opportunities and live the life they want.

This is to promote her book "life without coffee" but this is not her first book. She wrote her first published book, Fortitude, in 2008, So far, she has written three books in eight years, but she also writes short articles for websites and medical journals.

In her book "LIFE WITHOUT COFFEE" Dr Afiniki Akanet shares, in her friendly and motivational style, how she handles her multifaceted life without coffee. It is definitely not a book about coffee! This is a book for anyone that wants real and achievable ways of living a productive and happy life at home and at work. A must-read for this year!

So far all the reviews I have been seeing on the book are pointing to the fact that it is a must read. I really can't wait to lay my hand on the book too (winks). Meanwhile these are a few reviews:

"Brilliant book"

- Trish Adudu

"Wise words for busy lives"

- Matthew Ling

"I definitely recommend this book, which will give you a fresh perspective on the way to handle the different aspects of life to make you happy and fulfilled, whatever the circumstances."

- Cindy Deza

"It’s packed with insights about productivity, relationships, and general ‘life management’ tips. It’s a loving kick up the backside, and don’t we all need that from time to time?

A terrific read!"

– Dayo Benson

                     

To order for her e book or to get any hard copy of her book,  you are welcomed to check her website @www.afiniki.co.uk. she always welcomes comment so you can send your reviews to her.

Thank you very much for reading. Let's not forget to follow me on google+, subscribe to my blog and also invite others to subscribe.

Comments are always welcomed......xoxo.
           

PREGNANT WOMEN AND THE BANKING SECTOR.

seeing this topic, the first thought is "what sort of topic is this" lol..... I couldn't think of any better topic for the issue I want to talk about. I had female genital mutilation prepared for this week but that post seem to love to still rest a little in my archived post. Been pushing that post for weeks now but hopefully I will get around someday to do it plus this topic seems too interesting to me to  be achieved (smiles).

Some few days back, I went to the bank to do some transactions and there I found out something very interesting I didn't know was a norm in banks. I have gotten used to spending a minimum of one hour in the bank these days because of the large crowd and when I get there, I stay on the queue and not make a fuss over the crowd and time spent. By now I have an understanding of not going close to the bank if I have other important things to do.

On this particular day a lady on another queue kept making a fuss about how the queue was not moving and how people who just came into the bank were going straight to the front to carry out their transactions. She kept on like that for a while until it was explained to her that those people she was talking about were actually pregnant women and it was a rule in the bank that all pregnant and nursing mothers don't queue. Once they get into the bank they are to be attended to immediately. That didn't stop her from complaining still.

The whole issue was a funny one and that was the first time I was hearing about that rule. I was thinking why she didn't feel pregnancy or nursing a child was a justifiable reason for anyone to not stay on the queue. I am sure she had other pressing things to attend to judging from the way she responded to the bank policy on nursing and pregnant mothers.

Firstly, nobody deserves to spend the whole day in the bank or more time than the appropriate time in the bank Whether pregnant or not. At a point, the lady started insisting that she was pregnant too disturbing the quiet of the bank. I thought about what better policy can the banks implement. Such that avoids that kind of noise and disturbance I witnessed in the bank some few days back.

I understand where the lady is coming from and I also understand the banks wanting to care for pregnant women and nursing mothers. She must have felt it wasn't fair enough that simply because she is not pregnant, she should be chanced by one who was pregnant. She must have been thinking "I am a woman too" (lol).

I want us to comment our thoughts on this issue and let's remember to follow me on google+, subscribe to my blog and stay awesome

Kisses and hugs.

JUNGLE JUSTICE.

I couldn't bring myself to completely watch a video some weeks back of two people who stole a bike and the sort of judgement the society we live in felt was most appropriate punishment for the sin that was committed.

Two guys stole a bike and they were both burnt alive with the bike. They were first beaten with all kinds of hard object you can ever think of before finally fuel was poured on them like they were some set of rags that needed to be burnt and then the fire. The result was that one died on the spot and the other probably will never live a normal life ever again even if he was taken to the best hospital in the world. This happened in one of the Eastern states in Nigeria.

I have a certain kind of believe and could not put myself together to watch that video. After watching to the extent that I thought I could take, I dropped the phone and left the place. I asked for the outcome of the whole scenario because the more I watched it, the more I felt the need to do a write up.

While that is not the first of such videos that I have seen but I thought how long such judgement will be seen as appropriate. Infact just some few days after the whole bike video case, someone sent me another video of a lady who stole a phone. It's not a video to be kept so I deleted it and didn't think it was a video to be distributed, shared or sent to people. I consider such act of violence "barbaric".

When I did the write up on euthanasia, (if you have not seen that write up, it's a must see) I did research on suicide, mercy killing, life imprisonment and death by hanging and I discovered how much the world has evolved. I consider all (suicide, mercy killing, life imprisonment and death by hanging) to be related in one from or the other.

I can never say this enough or get tired of saying that "a life that cannot be created should not be taken". Life is precious and should be cherished. I am not justifying stealing but that is not to say jungle justice is the perfect punishment for any kind of sin. Some times after the act, you discover the people who got the punishment suffered that as a result of misconception  just like the case of the four uniport student.we have the law and I don't know when we learn not to take laws into our hands.

As far as I researched, death by hanging is in extinction already in most countries of the world and the worst punishment anyone can get for a very bad crime is life imprisonment. For me, I think that is a good enough judgement. People who even get the life imprisonment punishment never ever get the chance to live a normal life, so is that not good enough?. Some countries have begin to realise the fact that "a life that cannot be created should not be taken". The best science has been able to do for us is to create a robot. They have not been able to create a life.

What is the worst sin a person can commit?....it is to take a soul and then do we think that taking that life that took a soul is the best punishment. Humans can never give the best punishment that is commensurate for a soul that was taken by anyone......why, because that life was not created by them in the first place. So we do not soil our hands or worsen that which is already bad enough.

I see jungle justice same way I see death by hanging and don't think it is something of pride anyone should associate themselves with. Sometimes I wonder if the people who take the law into their hands never think of the "maybes" and the "what ifs" in between all that transpired. JUNGLE JUSTICE is a NO NO and I know some people are on this with me.

Thank you very much for reading and let's help to reshare with our friends or invite other to come read.  For my friends on facebook just click on the anisebonny.blogspot.com link to go to my blog and see more write up and follow me. You can also follow my blog, follow me on google+, subscribe to my blog or subscribe by email.

Comments are always welcomed......kisses and hugs.

THE DAY BEFORE SHE SAID I DO.

Last weekend, I attended the wedding of a very very very very very very (the very can continue..... Lol)  close friend. A friend close to my heart.

I woke up a day to the wedding feeling anxious about my clothe with my tailor that I have to wear for the occasion. Days before that morning I was not bothered about the clothe and I just suddenly felt I shouldn't have chosen that style, it may be too complex, she may not give me a perfect job etc (lolz.......i don't know if anybody has felt this way before or why I felt that way but I just feel it's partly because I am not really a traditional atire kind of person.).

Putting that thought aside, I set out for the day. All I had for that day was to put finishing touches to all the plans that have been set down already. My first point of call was the market. I needed to get her a gift (Courtesy me and a few friends) and then proceeded to my tailors place. After seeing my clothe and of course testing it to make sure it fits, that was all I needed to make my day. It was perfect (lol..... I wondered why I bothered in the first place and started hoboured the idea of getting more natives). Next was to visit the bride to be. So i called and she told me she was making her hair and can wait for her in the house.

Getting to her house, the first welcome was the aroma of party food (we all know how it is, I made sure to take a deep breath. Lol..... Usually I love that aroma). That aroma for me signifies celebration. Right there I remembered an argument I had with a friend over which rice was sweeter "wedding or burial". While I stuck my foot down and said wedding rice was sweeter, she said burial was sweeter. Well till now I still hold on to my believe "wedding rice"........ Lol.

Greeting the people I met outside I went inside the house to wait for her. I am no longer a guest in her house but I was still offered something to drink. Her arrival was announced by the children in the compound when they kept shouting aunty precious, aunty precious (lol). So I chorused with them when I saw her open the door aunty precious and she said onyeje (she is the only one I know who calls me by my surname and has a way of reminding me of my roots.......lol).

We spoke briefly and then she was getting ready to leave for the hotel where she was to lodge. Stepping out again the children kept saying "where are you going to", "we will miss you" etc. It sounded like she was going to a very far place, a different place and she was leaving them behind (smiles.....). And then we met another set of women before we got to the gate. She greeted them and the oldest amongst them (I presume so though) started to pray for her. She knelt down and everybody was saying amen. Watching that scene from a little distance and saying amen too was what touched me to put this write up together. I realise she can never have too much of this prayers and really she was going on a different journey. Alone without her parents and she needed as much of this prayers as possible.

While walking to the bus stop she then asked me if this is how it is (lol.... I wonder why she was asking me a single. I just laughed and said yes whether that is the right response or not). When we got to her lodge there was preparation already for her bridal shower but I had to be unavoidably absent. So she showered and walked me to the bus stop.

On the d-day while doing my make up I realised I love Yoruba weddings. Haven attended both Igbo and Yoruba weddings, I feel Yoruba weddings are more interesting. This is not to say any one is better than the other, it's just my preference. When I got to the venue, there was druming and dancing already. The engagement had started and the bride was there already so I gave her one shot before going into the hall.

The hall was well decorated and had a welcoming ambience. A few friends where there already so we greeted and chatted. Everything was in place. People everywhere, music, food, smiles and laugh on people faces, gifts, cake( I love cakes, have I said that before....lol), drinks, live band, flowers, etc. And the photographer was just awesome. He was just giving us different snapping positions eg lying down, bending, kneeling......lol. In all it was a beautiful ceremony.

One of my then coursemate said I know precious to be a very quiet person. She will just be smiling but look at how she is dancing today. I laughed and thought since it is a once in a life time event, she has to dance it all out.

Thank you very much for reading and let us remember to subscribe to my blog, follow me on Google or subscribe by email to be the first to  get my writings. For my facebook friends just click on the main link to direct you to my blog page so you can also subscribe or see more writings. Kisses.

Comments are always welcomed......xoxo.

NAIVENESS 101.

If I ever get a chance to do better something that I did in the past, then I want to be better at what I have come to realise people term naive.

Talking about this from the angle of relationship, I have come to realise 9 out of every 10 guy walking on the street has screwed thoughts on how to act in a relationship and 9 out of every 10 lady walking on the street has the same screwed thoughts

For someone like me who came into the dating ring quite late because it seem there is a certain age when you should have gotten into a relationship.....eyes rolling,  I just set my mind on doing every other thing while I got myself acquainted with relationship books, other people's relationship story and all the best possible solutions to relationship issues. I got so good at this that I would even counsel a few friends when they have issues in their relationship........but believe me when I say theory is different from practical.

My first relationship was not the perfect relationship (I don't know if there is any such thing as perfect relationship) but I was not someone without a clear head on the kind of relationship I wanted or how I wanted my relationship. Putting all the theories into practical was not easy but I gave it my best try.

First relationships are believed to be the eye opener. Brings you out of a state of being "naive", untouched, pure heart e.t.c. And then we find a lot of people change their initial pure state to match the so called worldly experience they are faced with or will be faced with.

While I know that it is not an easy task to win "worldly experience" with "niaiveness" but you don't also get the best result with doing worldly experience for worldly experience.

When I talk naiveness what do I mean?,I mean Sincerity, commitment, intelligent, honesty, loyalty, truthfulness, innocence, open minded with simple wishes, humility, smartness etc Without the helplessness and timidity that is in the original definition of naive.

I am in shock as to what worldly experience mean and the rate at wish people are running towards that angle. We have it as lies, manipulation, dishonesty, unfaithfulness etc and 9 out of every 10 male or female has their minds functioning like this, 9 out of every 10 wants to do worldly for worldly.

We all make our choices in life. While I will not tell you how to live your life, I just wish we could have less people having screwed thoughts that is why I put this write up together. I remember when I was in junior high school, I was taught in integrated science that like poles repel and opposite poles attract.  You don't win lies with more lies, it just get messy,. You win lies with sincerity. So also you don't win dishonesty with dishonesty, you only win dishonesty with honesty.

So after my first relationship ended, I made up my mind to maintain that initial state of mind that I had before I got into any relationship. I even made up my mind to be better committed, honest, caring, loyal, loving etc. It's not gonna be easy and it's not been easy but nobody told me it was ever going to be easy.

My wish is for anybody who reads this to make the choice that I made. So I beg that we help my wish come true (smiles). That way we could have a less toxic environment filled with people with screwed thoughts...... lol.

Comments are welcomed and let us pls share this with others........kisses and hugs.

21ST CENTURY MARRIAGE SAGA.

I have a few friends who have walked down the aisle and some who are about to but I discovered most times they are faced with a few dramas which comes from their parents because they want to be sure they are making the right decisions. So I decided to give my own two cent on the dramas too(winks).

I have grown up to know that my parents blessing on my marriage is important or rather I was taught to know that my parents blessing on my marriage is important. When I talk about their blessing what do I mean?..... Their accepting the suitor I bring home which translate to a sincere prayer from the heart from them.

I also know that my parents know more than me because they have lived longer on earth and have acquired great wisdom (there is a saying that what an elder can see at the top of a  tree while sitting a child can climb that tree and still not see it). I also know that my parents cannot always get it right solely for this reasons and I also know that we are in the 21st century( does that ring a bell.... Lol).

I have heard a few people give reasons why their parents would not accept a spouse they bring home for reasons that I consider to be trivial (I stand to be corrected..... though I doubt anyone can really convince me lol) and we have gone past the centuries when parents marry for their children. While I understand their stand to want to make sure their children are making the right decisions I begin to wonder if they are not conditioning or putting too much pressure on these children which could lead to the kind of decision they are trying to avoid in the first place.

It's not also in our culture to elope and expect a warm embrace or a pat on the back when you get back but I have heard and seen people who defy their parents and I also know that defying comes with bigger dramas which takes a lot of energy and too much sapping of emotions from both parties.

So I have been thinking about the best possible way to avoid all these dramas. How do we reconcile with parents who bring up issues like race, church/mosque he/she attends, social status, state, country, tribe, some certain customs and beliefs e.t.c (I am not saying these issues are not important but I consider them trivial) as compared to compatibility, commitment, honesty, sincere heart, love, care, loyalty, faithfulness, understanding, communication e.t.c.

The world is becoming a global village and a lot of changes have set in and more will still come in. I really don't know the best way to avoid all these drama (I really wish I knew) but we must not forget our core values (respecting our parents). I just believe there should be a way to win our parents heart without too much drama when we are faced with such issues. But we must do it lovingly.

Love conquers all so we must act from the angle of love to win.

Agree or disagree, comments are welcomed. Kisses and hugs.

CYBER DATING.

I was on facebook some few days back and my aunty chatted me up, I went on facebook messenger to reply her when I noticed a part with filtered messages. I decided to check  the content and saw old messages that I never got around to reply. I just kept laughing at how absurd some of those messages were.

Clearly I am not a fan of cyber dating and I think it is immaturity for people who search for love on social media. I remember when I first opened a facebook account the messages (which were mostly from guys) were much worse then, than now. I think people are beginning to mature or learn that not everything looks as it seems. (no offense to the guys reading.... Lol).

I have this policy of not replying messages if I thought you over stepping your boundaries (though I hardly chat on those social media I consider to be very public) and just believe friends on social media should stay on social media (I accept if some people should say that I am rigid, well that's fine.....lol).

I accept anybody who sends me request on my social media account except for accounts that I consider to be very personal (whatsapp and Bbm) but then I don't think I know up to 15% of friends personally who are my friends on social media (so some people may think that why did I accept them or why did they send the request in the first place????).

I consider social media a place to interact and share ideas and not a place to search for love. It's appaling because I wonder if people who do it have searched around them. Wikipedia said "Social media are computer-mediated technologies that facilitate the creation and sharing of
information , ideas, career interests and other forms of expression via virtual communities and networks" (well defined... Winks). So this is my major reason for accepting people I don't know, not replying people who try to get all personal and as for those who send the request.....well I don't know lol.

I remember one guy got so angry and sent me a message that it took me more than two years to accept his request and ever since then he has been sending me several hellos that I did not reply him. He did not even wait for me to reply his message when I noticed he deleted me ( lol........what he did not know was there was a time I stayed off social media for a long time and when I got back I had so many requests and messages. It took me long to go through all of the request and messages) while I don't think I owed him an apology I just thought why did he take it so personal..... ROFL.

I consider life on social media fake and there are so many insincere people there. The original concept behind social media has been misused and people see it now as a place to show off. I never take it to heart. I never take anything I find there real likewise the search for love there. I know someone is thinking "but I heard of stories of people who found true love there" (there is always an exception to the rule and they are one out the 100 many who got themselves into cyber dating).

While I don't expect you to agree with me on my thoughts if you want to search for love on social media but I just wish you will be more thoughtful and matured about your decision.

Comments are welcomed.......xoxo.

ON UPBRINGING.

I was having a chat with my neighbor on upbringing and the right attitude of children in the home, then she quoted the popular scripture people like to quote "train up a child in the way he should go that when he is old, he will not depart from it".

Then I remembered a long time ago someone said the same scripture but asked a question that stucked in my brain till today. He said when the Bible said train on the way the child should go, that who really knows the way a child should go. I haven't really thought much about it after that day.

But really who knows the way a child should go; mother, father, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunty,  society, environment, school, the community, age group, peer group, teachers, neighbors, friends e.t.c. The list can go on.

We have seen over time and it has been repeated severally some children get the best of home training but derailed when they got older,  we have seen some children whose parents have bad attitude themselves but has the best character like they got the best home training ever.

Some parents are hard on their children thinking its the best way to put them on the right part while some handle them with Care thinking also that it is the best way to put them on the right part. Don't get me wrong all on the list above has influence on a child life but there is a greater influence. Some people just say that scripture like its a parable without even knowing that it's a passage in the Bible. There is only one great influence on our life and that is "our creator". He is the one that knows the right way we should go and he help mould our lives to take that route so that when we are old we will not depart from it.

Agree or disagree comments are welcomed......kisses and hugs.

HAVING THE WILL TO LIVE.

Writing this now reminds me of the time when I was sick and had to be given drip. So I made up my mind to watch the drip till it finishes and told myself to not fall asleep. After a few minute my eyes felt heavy but I made sure to keep it open the more and just then the nurse walked in and said "you not sleeping yet, I expected you would have fallen asleep by now because I had injected sleeping pills into your drip". All I did was smile back at her.


Unknowingly I had made up my mind to stay awake and trust me when I say it was a long watch. It felt like the drip wasn't dripping (lol.... I don't know if there is any English like that) but watch I must. I kept a blank mind and watched it drip. Finally it ended and I smiled that I won over the sleeping injection. My WILL to stay awake had help me win (smiles).


I woke up on Monday morning to the news of a 35years old medical Doctor Who had jumped off the third mainland bridge on Sunday afternoon and drowned. He had a driver and he had a jeep. The news was everywhere. Everybody talking about it. And by Monday evening I was listening to a show on radio and the anchor spoke on the issue again and said he thinks this is the time that people must embrace God. People committing suicide everywhere and the rate was becoming alarming. I just felt well it's old gist if anyone hasn't met God yet. It way past time anyone met him but its never too late (winks).


My first thoughts were one unfulfilled life gone,  how much of a challenge was he going through (I mean anyone would have thought he had a comfortable life seeing that he drove a jeep and he had a driver), if he had friends, why he thought he wasn't strong enough to scale through that challenge, his family, if he was an introvert, his siblings, how bad his depression was, if he had no one to talk to, if there was nobody around who could have stopped him from jumping, his years in school studying medicine, his parents, where he worked, his future, his purpose in life and why he thought it had ended for him, how far he had come already in life, why he thought suicide was the best option, why he choose to die the hardest way anyone could ever die (suicide), so many thoughts crossed my mind.


I had said in one of my post "Euthanasia" that I never support mercy killing and I just think that mercy killing and suicide is one and the same. First thing first is life that cannot be created should not be taken so why suicide.


I just believe we could never have more than we can handle. We could get tired....yes, we could get frustrated.....yes, we could feel depressed.....yes, feel like the world has ended.....yes, get very confused too....... yes, get alot of annoying and irritating feeling.... yes but to win you mustn't give up, to scale through you must stand strong, to have the last laugh you mustn't give up, to live again you must stand strong and  to love again you mustn't give up.


Fortunately I just discovered that we could celebrate happiness (lol) . Monday 20th of March was international World happiness day and I thought about all the things we think could really make us happy. I kept thinking, trying to find what makes us happy and I found there was nothing. Nothing really makes us happy. If you want to be happy, then just be happy. Really nothing makes us happy other than to just happy. There are few choices we make in life; we don't get to make the choice of the kind of challenges we face or if we should or if we want to face a challenges but we could make the choice to be happy. Consciously make that choice everyday so don't give in to that depression.


 Just like I had the will to win over the sleeping pills, we could win over our challenges and just the way I had kept a blank mind watch the drip for long till it finished, we could just clear out out minds and watch everything play out. It always definitely has an end.  Nobody ever said life was going to be easy but we get stronger.

Comments are welcomed......kisses and hugs.

THE LIFE OF A CHICK (BULLYING VS STUBBORNESS).

My mom is a lover of animals. She likes to keep them around ranging from dogs, chickens to any kind-of animals that can be kept as pets.

We have some set of chickens and just like it is in humans,  animals can tell their seniors from their juniors. There is this chick that is about 3 weeks old, it is very stubborn or do I say it has a very strong will to live?. The chick is bullied by all the other chickens but the oldest, a cock, shows no mercy. It will bite the chick to the extent that the hair on it falls off leaving just bare skin.

At a point I was scared the chick has some sort of disease or something but that wasn't the case. When it's time for the chickens to be fed, they will all bully the chick, but it will still try to get the little food it can get.

So finally the day of freedom came. The cock was killed and used to make sweet stew (lol) and that was when the hair on the chick started to grow. All the other chickens were not so much of a bully.

Lessons learnt
In life most times we are faced with challenges and each time you keep at it with no positive result. You get depressed, you try again, same no effectual result. Those challenges are bullies and will not last long just like the cock.  A day of freedom will come and just the way the chick survived the harsh weather conditions without hair on its skin, if you hold on a little longer, you will break through. The chick became stronger, the challenges will make you stronger and stronger till you can scale through. Life is a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up. It doesn't get easier,  we get stronger.

Comments are welcomed.......kisses and hugs.

WHAT IS LOVE?.

Some nights back while I was on my bed and gradually drifting off to sleep, my phone beeped and it was a message but my sleepy self was going to ignore the message but my heart tugged at me to check the message. Knowing fully well that if I didn't check the message I won't sleep so I gave in and reluctantly checked what it was.


It was a message from a good friend of mine and quite a lengthy message saying love is this and love is that and asked me if really that is what love is. So I replied him saying "love conquers all and all of the attributes you mentioned are true.....that I know." so I resumed to drift off again when my phone beeped again. Same friend asking another question "WHAT IS LOVE" in capital letter. The answer was a simple one but I knew answering him would mean more questions and I really needed to get my beauty sleep (lol) so I called him to say "I will answer your question but as a blog post. You can read up to see my answer but I really want to sleep". So that is how I find myself moving my topic of this week to next week (smiles........).


Still in my sleepy state before finally allowing myself to sleep, I answered the question in my heart "love is love" simple.


Writing now I am asking myself howelse do I describe the word that brought about creation, same word that brought about the very existence of man. Where else can I find the answer to the question if not in the question itself. No greater word to define love if not defining it in itself. Every word used to describe love will always come back to take it true meaning from the word itself (love). Patience, trust, affection, care, selflessness, long-suffering e.t.c all take their root from love. That is why I said love is love.


Love is an action and a doing word. A conscious effort to act and to do, a conscious effort to see it all around you, a conscious effort to  give it to others, a conscious effort to show it to others, a conscious effort to see it in others, a conscious effort to continue to make that conscious effort.


A conscious effort to find it everywhere. In simple gestures like a handshake, a hug, in receiving a smile and giving a smile, in laughter. Something as simple as saying hello.  When we make such efforts to find love in simple things then it becomes a part of us, it's much easier to give it to others and much easier to find it all around you.

Agree or disagree comments are welcomed. Kisses and hugs.

HURTBAE

I have been trying really hard to avoid talking about relationships, but I discovered it's inevitable if I will be doing general talks and writings.  Relationships are the basic unit of human co-existence either father-daugther, mother-son, brother-sister, boyfriend-girlfriend, hubby-wifey e.t.c. sigh........ So I give in (laughs). Let me just blow my trumpet a little (and this is for your ears only..........i am a love expert lol). Did I just say that (eyes rolling......lol). I am just like my friend Olaf.......winks.

So there is this video that has gone viral about two exes who confronted each other on infidelity (#hurtbae). The after effect of watching that video was that I was mute for a while. She had loved him, he had taken her for granted and she was hurt. I don't want to go into women are naturally like this and men have this and that in their DNA...........sigh I have done that before.She had questions to ask or probably had little hope that there is something left of the relationship when she agreed to do that video but either ways she needed the answer to help her move on. Sigh.....this is now like a trend in relationships , I have seen it happen before and trust me when I say it didn't happen in a movie (lol).


I want to say that it is easy for people on the other end to say oh.......she should have done this, she should have left when he did that, I can't accept that from no body. Seriously......really, you think she never thought of all that?, you think she never for once knew what the right thing was for her to do?...... It takes all your sanity put together to walk out of a toxic relationship when you truly love that person. I read the comment session and I had a good laugh at some of the reaction but really nobody should curse out at him or her because you never know what you will do if you find your self in such a relationship

We see the power of choice play out here, he cheated, his choice....... She stayed, her choice.........he hurt her, a reaction from his choice to cheat........she hurt herself, a reaction from her her choice to stay. While we have no choice to choose what happens in our relatioship, we have a choice to choose how we are treated, what we accept, what not to accept which eventaully leads to how the relationship turns out.

He had asked her a question that caught my attention....he said "why didn't you leave when you could not bring yourself to trust me again rather than put yourself through the trouble of snooping" and she said "I guess I was stupid". I read this somewhere and it said "immaturity is when you are stupid and you don't know you are while maturity is when  you are stupid and you know you are". Funny as it sounds but it's true but I don't agree with her on her answer of being stupid but then it's true that when you truly love someone you take all they throw at you just to have that little moment of happiness with them or have them stay in your life a little longer no matter how much it hurts you. I guess that is the basic reason why we are having history repeat itself in toxic relationship.

Agree or disagree comments are welcomed.....xoxo.

PEACOCK PRIDE VS TURKEY PRIDE.

I  have a friend who always gives me this reply "it's not pride that goes before a fall but arrogance" each time I tell him pride goes before a fall (smiles). He will go further to explain that it's a misinterpretation of the Bible from the Greek language to English language(lol). I agree with him since I know that too much of pride is arrogance and I also know that to live life, we need a certain amount of pride.

Recently, I saw a turkey walking on the street and when it saw other chickens, it started to show off all its glorious feathers and walking like her royal highness. I watched and didn't know when I smiled really hard. It was interesting watching the show of power between two creatures of the same famil(birds). Unfortunately for the turkey other than me and other passersby who watched briefly, the chickens cared less for all the glorious walk the turkey was showing off (lol).

There is a common saying in the Yoruba language (ígàrá turkey). This means turkey's pride and it is used majorly on people who have a show of too much pride (arrogance). So what do I conclude a Turkey's pride to be : act of arrogating, making undue claim in an overbearing manner, exorbitant claim of rank, contempt of others, lordliness,exalting your importance to an undue degree, haughtiness, self assumption, presumption and feeling indispensable.

I remembered seeing a peacock a long time ago. A little before the age of ten or a little above the age of ten in all of its glory. I still remember it's bright colours and large feathers. Comparing a peacock to a turkey now, I know the peacock has much bigger and brighter feathers than that of a turkey. I remember watching and smiling too. Unfortunately for the peacock there was no peahen around (lol). But I enjoyed watching the display.

Peacocks are believed to show off their feathers as an act of vanity but it's not. Peacocks fan out their feathers for a completely different reason than people think (it's a form of courtship ritual to attract a mate) . So what do I conclude a peacocks pride to be: self respect, unwilling to accept humiliation, being a unique individual, not accepting less, not succuming to pressures, not feeling inadequate, courageous, self worth,  self esteem, confidence, bravery and bold.

Sometimes when people choose to not be disrespected, they say it's pride. No!!!  I disagree. Self pride is different from arrogance just the way the peacock and turkey fan out their feathers for different reasons. Unlike the turkey that shows off it's feather to either pick a fight or to protect it's food, you can use your peacock pride to attract the right kind of people (lol). You can influence a person's attitude towards you. A person who has no self respect will not know how to give respect to others. So use your peacock pride well (lol).

Did I mention that I like to eat turkey and I have never eaten a peacock before (lol). Now that I said that is peacock edible (thinking.....smiles).

Agree or disagree comments are welcomed (kisses and hugs).

WHAT IS IT WITH NEW YEAR!!!.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (excited and screaming at the top of your voice)
Everybody is excited to see a new year, hugging the closest person to you, making phone calls to loved ones, sending broadcast messages on bbm, whatsapp, sending sms to friends even deciding to forgive the people who wronged us the previous year that ended.

It’s a fresh start, a new beginning, a clean slate is stretched out and the writing of another 365 days has begun. Faiths are held high,  hopes are kept up and like a child who just received a gift of a new toy, we keep our optimism high. Whether a Christian or not, we all are praying the new year is good to us, expectant of the year.

Target are set, resolutions are made, achievements to be made are listed out, things to be done, things not to do, friends to stay away from, friends to stay close to, a new idea to work on, previous ideas to improve on, each and everyone his own aspiration for the year.

A new year is like a wake up call for many of us. Haven lived a few years on earth, sometimes we loose track of time, purpose, faith, optimism, hardwork, achievement, targets, etc. We forget the only real new year we ever had was when we were born and every other new year is a wake up call to purpose. It’s a reminder to live life and to not just exist. Penning our names in the sands of time.

What are the lessons learnt the previous year, what are the mistakes made the previous year, what are our weaknesses, what were the things that stood in our way to becoming a better person, stopped us from helping others, it’s a wake up call to look back and forge ahead.

I personally don’t see life as a race but each day make steps. I don’t mock people who make resolutions, if that will help you make steps why not. Determination, discipline, diligence, strong-willed, never quitting, trustworthy, honesty, confidence, will get us to our aspirations. Standing on each of our laid out plan for the year, working on it and keeping our faith high even when all hopes are lost.

Sometimes all we need to see us through the year is the same optimism we started the year with.  Winners never quit but quitters never win.

I hope this write up helps us through the year. Agree or disagree, all comments are welcomed (kisses and hugs).

TEENAGE PREGNANCY (DEBATEABLE POST).

Sex is a choice between two consenting adults and when I see teenage girls moving around with protruding stomachs, I wonder; how did this happen?, how did the baby get there?……WiFi, Bluetooth, flashshare or rather xender?. Somebody please answer (lol).  Now Sarcasm aside, this is a much more bigger issue than I thought.

For a whole week I kept seeing different teenage girls with pregnancy. My thought is how are they feeling?. And then I give kudos to their parents for allowing them keep their babies since I am not a fan of abortion. Sometimes trying to correct one mistake (abortion) could be costlier than accepting it (keeping your baby).

I read an article sometimes back which said that research shows that women who give birth after the age of 25 have greater chances of living long when compared to women who give birth before the age of 25. I don’t want to concern myself with the health risk, the shame the teenagers have to live with, the way society reacts to teenage pregnancy, how it affects the lives of the teenagers and finally how their parents have to cope with it because the result is not always a friendly one.

My concern is where did it go wrong, who did not do their home works well; parents, teachers, religion or lack of it, over protectiveness or lack of it, too much of civilization or lack of it, unlimited access to the internet or lack of it, lack of sex education or too much of it (for our teenagers who like to experiment) or should the male involved know better?

I stand to be corrected, I believe the male or rather men involved are of a higher age and should know better. Most times they are adults. So is sex with a teenager rape since they are not adults (I don’t believe they have the choice of consenting or not) or sex.

Comments are very much welcomed
#beautyallaround #openurhearttoseeit

HOW I SPENT MY CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY

This topic is a funny one right (lol). It reminds me of my primary school essay topics. I remember after every Christmas Holiday our first English assignment is always how I spent my Christmas Holiday (lol).

For this year I broke my first law of Christmas which is to not go anywhere and just stay home with my family and enjoy the day. But today I went out (yes I did lol) and that is because a new life is involved (Yay…. So happy). A new baby which Means double the celebration.

Usually I spend more than half of my Christmas day in the kitchen after which I freshen up and then hang my feet on the table sipping drink (lol), watching TV and having my siblings run around (for people who have younger siblings, u know how it can be lol) while I have to drag for the TV remote with my brother if I want to change the channel (we all always have that one big bully right…….lol).

This year was a really different year. It was a beautiful morning and I woke up to a confession (let me spare u guys the details… Winks lolz). After which I decided I wanted set off fireworks (I never use to do that but this year I did and it was awesome…….lol) and then the cooking, cooking, cooking. After cooking I went out (smiles). I went first to see the new born, the major reason I broke my first law of Christmas. Getting there, there was talks of who the baby looks like and the joy of motherhood and then all the talks of your time and all that (let me spare u guys the story but they were pretty interesting to listen to) after which I left and then I stopped by at a friend turned sister’s house. I just met her but we clicked. We have gotten quite close too.

I got an awesome welcome. Her dad even came out to say hello to me. After chatting for a while and of course taking the menu menu I was offered (I even had to turn down some….i don’t want to add any pound after Christmas lol) she walked me a little distance on my way home and then that was when the talking started. We talked a few minutes about every other thing, then She told me things that touched my heart . The first thing she said was “do you know I am always happy when I am around you”. I didn’t know and she told me she even told her dad this and that about me (let me spare u guys the details….lol but they really made my head swell) and her dad said I am a friend to be kept (Doyin really I am honoured) and that was why he came out to say hello to me specifically. She made me feel blessed to be who i am( I guess this is really what Christmas is about, giving positive energy to People and Doyin I am happy we crossed path). To think I left her house early because I wanted to get home on-time to watch jenifa’s diary(lol…. i never miss that show) but I ended up getting home late (awww… but it was worth it). Today I broke a few laws and it was okay(lolz). In all, my Christmas was a simple one but it was full and I enjoyed it.

Hope u all had a wonderful Christmas and let’s remember to give positive energy to others (hugs&kisses).

I REALLY HATE MY EX

Why is kidnapping a crime while heartbreak is not (lol). That was the question asked by an angry woman whose heart had just been broken. She could not let go so she kidnapped her ex and her two other friends who had similar situation did the same thing. All three men kidnapped (lol). This was the plot of a movie I saw a few days ago which had the same title.

It’s one of those times when you watch a movie not just for fun alone. I watched how these women walked their way through heart break and found their happiness. I summed it up in three stages. So how did these women become ex free.

The Questioning: This is always the first thing to ever happen after a break up. You get filled up with question like why, what, how, where, when. It’s in a woman’s DNA to ask and it’s in the men DNA not to answer (lol). I have not been able to piece why the men always run away from those questions (lol). So I concluded it’s because they are chicken hearted (lol). Either ways the questions are asked and most times it’s left unanswered (sigh). But believe me you have your answers right in front of you.

Silence: This is the second stage. Silence everywhere. You drop a pin you hear the sound. Silence sometimes is the highest form of screaming. No one is saying anything to each other technically but both have each other thoughts running through their hearts. Getting the silent treatment can be annoying even when it’s not from a loved not to talk of it coming from one. So you just want to get it off your chest and move on (smiles). Sometimes all you need do is to embrace the silence because there is no better time to have a clear head to make a decision.  

Acceptance: The main character read from a book saying to be ex free means either heal your wound and move on to get back together or you will heal your wounds and move on to stay apart but either ways you will move on to be ex free. I couldn’t agree less.

In it all to be ex free is a choice. You make the choice to move on, you make the choice to find your own healing, you make the choice to be happy, you make the choice to stay true to yourself,your Heart and to others, you make the choice to not accept less than you deserve, you make the choice to not let anyone make you feel you are not good enough, you make the choice to become a better person, you make the choice to love harder next time and finally you make the choice to give it your best shot again.

I believe we cross path with people for a purpose and when they were asked in the movie to say something their ex did for them, they all had something to say. They either make you see your weaknesses or they make you find your strength. So it was never a waste meeting that person. They are a part of your life and be happy you met them.

Feeling heart broken, just get in touch and lets kidnap your ex together (winks……. Lol).

Agree or disagree comments are welcomed