THE DAY BEFORE SHE SAID I DO.

Last weekend, I attended the wedding of a very very very very very very (the very can continue..... Lol)  close friend. A friend close to my heart.

I woke up a day to the wedding feeling anxious about my clothe with my tailor that I have to wear for the occasion. Days before that morning I was not bothered about the clothe and I just suddenly felt I shouldn't have chosen that style, it may be too complex, she may not give me a perfect job etc (lolz.......i don't know if anybody has felt this way before or why I felt that way but I just feel it's partly because I am not really a traditional atire kind of person.).

Putting that thought aside, I set out for the day. All I had for that day was to put finishing touches to all the plans that have been set down already. My first point of call was the market. I needed to get her a gift (Courtesy me and a few friends) and then proceeded to my tailors place. After seeing my clothe and of course testing it to make sure it fits, that was all I needed to make my day. It was perfect (lol..... I wondered why I bothered in the first place and started hoboured the idea of getting more natives). Next was to visit the bride to be. So i called and she told me she was making her hair and can wait for her in the house.

Getting to her house, the first welcome was the aroma of party food (we all know how it is, I made sure to take a deep breath. Lol..... Usually I love that aroma). That aroma for me signifies celebration. Right there I remembered an argument I had with a friend over which rice was sweeter "wedding or burial". While I stuck my foot down and said wedding rice was sweeter, she said burial was sweeter. Well till now I still hold on to my believe "wedding rice"........ Lol.

Greeting the people I met outside I went inside the house to wait for her. I am no longer a guest in her house but I was still offered something to drink. Her arrival was announced by the children in the compound when they kept shouting aunty precious, aunty precious (lol). So I chorused with them when I saw her open the door aunty precious and she said onyeje (she is the only one I know who calls me by my surname and has a way of reminding me of my roots.......lol).

We spoke briefly and then she was getting ready to leave for the hotel where she was to lodge. Stepping out again the children kept saying "where are you going to", "we will miss you" etc. It sounded like she was going to a very far place, a different place and she was leaving them behind (smiles.....). And then we met another set of women before we got to the gate. She greeted them and the oldest amongst them (I presume so though) started to pray for her. She knelt down and everybody was saying amen. Watching that scene from a little distance and saying amen too was what touched me to put this write up together. I realise she can never have too much of this prayers and really she was going on a different journey. Alone without her parents and she needed as much of this prayers as possible.

While walking to the bus stop she then asked me if this is how it is (lol.... I wonder why she was asking me a single. I just laughed and said yes whether that is the right response or not). When we got to her lodge there was preparation already for her bridal shower but I had to be unavoidably absent. So she showered and walked me to the bus stop.

On the d-day while doing my make up I realised I love Yoruba weddings. Haven attended both Igbo and Yoruba weddings, I feel Yoruba weddings are more interesting. This is not to say any one is better than the other, it's just my preference. When I got to the venue, there was druming and dancing already. The engagement had started and the bride was there already so I gave her one shot before going into the hall.

The hall was well decorated and had a welcoming ambience. A few friends where there already so we greeted and chatted. Everything was in place. People everywhere, music, food, smiles and laugh on people faces, gifts, cake( I love cakes, have I said that before....lol), drinks, live band, flowers, etc. And the photographer was just awesome. He was just giving us different snapping positions eg lying down, bending, kneeling......lol. In all it was a beautiful ceremony.

One of my then coursemate said I know precious to be a very quiet person. She will just be smiling but look at how she is dancing today. I laughed and thought since it is a once in a life time event, she has to dance it all out.

Thank you very much for reading and let us remember to subscribe to my blog, follow me on Google or subscribe by email to be the first to  get my writings. For my facebook friends just click on the main link to direct you to my blog page so you can also subscribe or see more writings. Kisses.

Comments are always welcomed......xoxo.

21ST CENTURY MARRIAGE SAGA.

I have a few friends who have walked down the aisle and some who are about to but I discovered most times they are faced with a few dramas which comes from their parents because they want to be sure they are making the right decisions. So I decided to give my own two cent on the dramas too(winks).

I have grown up to know that my parents blessing on my marriage is important or rather I was taught to know that my parents blessing on my marriage is important. When I talk about their blessing what do I mean?..... Their accepting the suitor I bring home which translate to a sincere prayer from the heart from them.

I also know that my parents know more than me because they have lived longer on earth and have acquired great wisdom (there is a saying that what an elder can see at the top of a  tree while sitting a child can climb that tree and still not see it). I also know that my parents cannot always get it right solely for this reasons and I also know that we are in the 21st century( does that ring a bell.... Lol).

I have heard a few people give reasons why their parents would not accept a spouse they bring home for reasons that I consider to be trivial (I stand to be corrected..... though I doubt anyone can really convince me lol) and we have gone past the centuries when parents marry for their children. While I understand their stand to want to make sure their children are making the right decisions I begin to wonder if they are not conditioning or putting too much pressure on these children which could lead to the kind of decision they are trying to avoid in the first place.

It's not also in our culture to elope and expect a warm embrace or a pat on the back when you get back but I have heard and seen people who defy their parents and I also know that defying comes with bigger dramas which takes a lot of energy and too much sapping of emotions from both parties.

So I have been thinking about the best possible way to avoid all these dramas. How do we reconcile with parents who bring up issues like race, church/mosque he/she attends, social status, state, country, tribe, some certain customs and beliefs e.t.c (I am not saying these issues are not important but I consider them trivial) as compared to compatibility, commitment, honesty, sincere heart, love, care, loyalty, faithfulness, understanding, communication e.t.c.

The world is becoming a global village and a lot of changes have set in and more will still come in. I really don't know the best way to avoid all these drama (I really wish I knew) but we must not forget our core values (respecting our parents). I just believe there should be a way to win our parents heart without too much drama when we are faced with such issues. But we must do it lovingly.

Love conquers all so we must act from the angle of love to win.

Agree or disagree, comments are welcomed. Kisses and hugs.

HER LOVE IS FIERCE.

Like my friend will always say “her love is fierce” lol……..this is not the topic i had in mind to post but thinking about how to write this post made me smile and i felt it will make others smile too.

sigh……..how do i start this lol. “LOVE” when i see people do stupid things which to them is the best you can do because you are in love, i begin to wonder. i have not been able to comprehend fully how to describe love. 

I have had crush(es) lol , i have really,really, really really (the really can go on) liked someone but never have i fallen in love. Thinking about it now i did do some things that right now i consider foolish for my crush and the people i like so i can imagine how fierce my love would be lol……

some people believe watching from afar and ensuring the one you love is happy and in love with another person is the best way  you can express your love to the other most especially in cases where the love is not reciprocated. This set of people i call the noble idiots because they still diligently and steadfastly stay in love with the other person. They are there like the heroes, always there for the damsel in distress or the dark knight in trouble.

some people believe keeping vital information all in the name of saving the one they love from pain which always and always brings short lived happiness is the best way they can express their love. some express their love to the other by inflicting pain. some believe they should be doted on. some believe satisfying their need is the way to show love. some believe love don’t exist. The list is endless.Different people with their own ways of expressing their love. 

But the beautiful thing is that love is good, kind, selfless, caring, generous, beautiful i can go on. i believe love is everything good and will really like to know what it feels like to be in love. I envy people who have once experienced it  lol….

I am running out of words already but i want to end this post in a refreshing way. if her love is fierce his love can be fierce too making it two fierce love(lolzz) or should it be time for change, time to restart, time to conquer and time to be fierce. 

choose whichever one feels refreshing to you. i hope i made u smile and made u want to be in love too.