21ST CENTURY MARRIAGE SAGA.

I have a few friends who have walked down the aisle and some who are about to but I discovered most times they are faced with a few dramas which comes from their parents because they want to be sure they are making the right decisions. So I decided to give my own two cent on the dramas too(winks).

I have grown up to know that my parents blessing on my marriage is important or rather I was taught to know that my parents blessing on my marriage is important. When I talk about their blessing what do I mean?..... Their accepting the suitor I bring home which translate to a sincere prayer from the heart from them.

I also know that my parents know more than me because they have lived longer on earth and have acquired great wisdom (there is a saying that what an elder can see at the top of a  tree while sitting a child can climb that tree and still not see it). I also know that my parents cannot always get it right solely for this reasons and I also know that we are in the 21st century( does that ring a bell.... Lol).

I have heard a few people give reasons why their parents would not accept a spouse they bring home for reasons that I consider to be trivial (I stand to be corrected..... though I doubt anyone can really convince me lol) and we have gone past the centuries when parents marry for their children. While I understand their stand to want to make sure their children are making the right decisions I begin to wonder if they are not conditioning or putting too much pressure on these children which could lead to the kind of decision they are trying to avoid in the first place.

It's not also in our culture to elope and expect a warm embrace or a pat on the back when you get back but I have heard and seen people who defy their parents and I also know that defying comes with bigger dramas which takes a lot of energy and too much sapping of emotions from both parties.

So I have been thinking about the best possible way to avoid all these dramas. How do we reconcile with parents who bring up issues like race, church/mosque he/she attends, social status, state, country, tribe, some certain customs and beliefs e.t.c (I am not saying these issues are not important but I consider them trivial) as compared to compatibility, commitment, honesty, sincere heart, love, care, loyalty, faithfulness, understanding, communication e.t.c.

The world is becoming a global village and a lot of changes have set in and more will still come in. I really don't know the best way to avoid all these drama (I really wish I knew) but we must not forget our core values (respecting our parents). I just believe there should be a way to win our parents heart without too much drama when we are faced with such issues. But we must do it lovingly.

Love conquers all so we must act from the angle of love to win.

Agree or disagree, comments are welcomed. Kisses and hugs.

CYBER DATING.

I was on facebook some few days back and my aunty chatted me up, I went on facebook messenger to reply her when I noticed a part with filtered messages. I decided to check  the content and saw old messages that I never got around to reply. I just kept laughing at how absurd some of those messages were.

Clearly I am not a fan of cyber dating and I think it is immaturity for people who search for love on social media. I remember when I first opened a facebook account the messages (which were mostly from guys) were much worse then, than now. I think people are beginning to mature or learn that not everything looks as it seems. (no offense to the guys reading.... Lol).

I have this policy of not replying messages if I thought you over stepping your boundaries (though I hardly chat on those social media I consider to be very public) and just believe friends on social media should stay on social media (I accept if some people should say that I am rigid, well that's fine.....lol).

I accept anybody who sends me request on my social media account except for accounts that I consider to be very personal (whatsapp and Bbm) but then I don't think I know up to 15% of friends personally who are my friends on social media (so some people may think that why did I accept them or why did they send the request in the first place????).

I consider social media a place to interact and share ideas and not a place to search for love. It's appaling because I wonder if people who do it have searched around them. Wikipedia said "Social media are computer-mediated technologies that facilitate the creation and sharing of
information , ideas, career interests and other forms of expression via virtual communities and networks" (well defined... Winks). So this is my major reason for accepting people I don't know, not replying people who try to get all personal and as for those who send the request.....well I don't know lol.

I remember one guy got so angry and sent me a message that it took me more than two years to accept his request and ever since then he has been sending me several hellos that I did not reply him. He did not even wait for me to reply his message when I noticed he deleted me ( lol........what he did not know was there was a time I stayed off social media for a long time and when I got back I had so many requests and messages. It took me long to go through all of the request and messages) while I don't think I owed him an apology I just thought why did he take it so personal..... ROFL.

I consider life on social media fake and there are so many insincere people there. The original concept behind social media has been misused and people see it now as a place to show off. I never take it to heart. I never take anything I find there real likewise the search for love there. I know someone is thinking "but I heard of stories of people who found true love there" (there is always an exception to the rule and they are one out the 100 many who got themselves into cyber dating).

While I don't expect you to agree with me on my thoughts if you want to search for love on social media but I just wish you will be more thoughtful and matured about your decision.

Comments are welcomed.......xoxo.

ON UPBRINGING.

I was having a chat with my neighbor on upbringing and the right attitude of children in the home, then she quoted the popular scripture people like to quote "train up a child in the way he should go that when he is old, he will not depart from it".

Then I remembered a long time ago someone said the same scripture but asked a question that stucked in my brain till today. He said when the Bible said train on the way the child should go, that who really knows the way a child should go. I haven't really thought much about it after that day.

But really who knows the way a child should go; mother, father, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunty,  society, environment, school, the community, age group, peer group, teachers, neighbors, friends e.t.c. The list can go on.

We have seen over time and it has been repeated severally some children get the best of home training but derailed when they got older,  we have seen some children whose parents have bad attitude themselves but has the best character like they got the best home training ever.

Some parents are hard on their children thinking its the best way to put them on the right part while some handle them with Care thinking also that it is the best way to put them on the right part. Don't get me wrong all on the list above has influence on a child life but there is a greater influence. Some people just say that scripture like its a parable without even knowing that it's a passage in the Bible. There is only one great influence on our life and that is "our creator". He is the one that knows the right way we should go and he help mould our lives to take that route so that when we are old we will not depart from it.

Agree or disagree comments are welcomed......kisses and hugs.