HURTBAE

I have been trying really hard to avoid talking about relationships, but I discovered it's inevitable if I will be doing general talks and writings.  Relationships are the basic unit of human co-existence either father-daugther, mother-son, brother-sister, boyfriend-girlfriend, hubby-wifey e.t.c. sigh........ So I give in (laughs). Let me just blow my trumpet a little (and this is for your ears only..........i am a love expert lol). Did I just say that (eyes rolling......lol). I am just like my friend Olaf.......winks.

So there is this video that has gone viral about two exes who confronted each other on infidelity (#hurtbae). The after effect of watching that video was that I was mute for a while. She had loved him, he had taken her for granted and she was hurt. I don't want to go into women are naturally like this and men have this and that in their DNA...........sigh I have done that before.She had questions to ask or probably had little hope that there is something left of the relationship when she agreed to do that video but either ways she needed the answer to help her move on. Sigh.....this is now like a trend in relationships , I have seen it happen before and trust me when I say it didn't happen in a movie (lol).


I want to say that it is easy for people on the other end to say oh.......she should have done this, she should have left when he did that, I can't accept that from no body. Seriously......really, you think she never thought of all that?, you think she never for once knew what the right thing was for her to do?...... It takes all your sanity put together to walk out of a toxic relationship when you truly love that person. I read the comment session and I had a good laugh at some of the reaction but really nobody should curse out at him or her because you never know what you will do if you find your self in such a relationship

We see the power of choice play out here, he cheated, his choice....... She stayed, her choice.........he hurt her, a reaction from his choice to cheat........she hurt herself, a reaction from her her choice to stay. While we have no choice to choose what happens in our relatioship, we have a choice to choose how we are treated, what we accept, what not to accept which eventaully leads to how the relationship turns out.

He had asked her a question that caught my attention....he said "why didn't you leave when you could not bring yourself to trust me again rather than put yourself through the trouble of snooping" and she said "I guess I was stupid". I read this somewhere and it said "immaturity is when you are stupid and you don't know you are while maturity is when  you are stupid and you know you are". Funny as it sounds but it's true but I don't agree with her on her answer of being stupid but then it's true that when you truly love someone you take all they throw at you just to have that little moment of happiness with them or have them stay in your life a little longer no matter how much it hurts you. I guess that is the basic reason why we are having history repeat itself in toxic relationship.

Agree or disagree comments are welcomed.....xoxo.

PEACOCK PRIDE VS TURKEY PRIDE.

I  have a friend who always gives me this reply "it's not pride that goes before a fall but arrogance" each time I tell him pride goes before a fall (smiles). He will go further to explain that it's a misinterpretation of the Bible from the Greek language to English language(lol). I agree with him since I know that too much of pride is arrogance and I also know that to live life, we need a certain amount of pride.

Recently, I saw a turkey walking on the street and when it saw other chickens, it started to show off all its glorious feathers and walking like her royal highness. I watched and didn't know when I smiled really hard. It was interesting watching the show of power between two creatures of the same famil(birds). Unfortunately for the turkey other than me and other passersby who watched briefly, the chickens cared less for all the glorious walk the turkey was showing off (lol).

There is a common saying in the Yoruba language (ígàrá turkey). This means turkey's pride and it is used majorly on people who have a show of too much pride (arrogance). So what do I conclude a Turkey's pride to be : act of arrogating, making undue claim in an overbearing manner, exorbitant claim of rank, contempt of others, lordliness,exalting your importance to an undue degree, haughtiness, self assumption, presumption and feeling indispensable.

I remembered seeing a peacock a long time ago. A little before the age of ten or a little above the age of ten in all of its glory. I still remember it's bright colours and large feathers. Comparing a peacock to a turkey now, I know the peacock has much bigger and brighter feathers than that of a turkey. I remember watching and smiling too. Unfortunately for the peacock there was no peahen around (lol). But I enjoyed watching the display.

Peacocks are believed to show off their feathers as an act of vanity but it's not. Peacocks fan out their feathers for a completely different reason than people think (it's a form of courtship ritual to attract a mate) . So what do I conclude a peacocks pride to be: self respect, unwilling to accept humiliation, being a unique individual, not accepting less, not succuming to pressures, not feeling inadequate, courageous, self worth,  self esteem, confidence, bravery and bold.

Sometimes when people choose to not be disrespected, they say it's pride. No!!!  I disagree. Self pride is different from arrogance just the way the peacock and turkey fan out their feathers for different reasons. Unlike the turkey that shows off it's feather to either pick a fight or to protect it's food, you can use your peacock pride to attract the right kind of people (lol). You can influence a person's attitude towards you. A person who has no self respect will not know how to give respect to others. So use your peacock pride well (lol).

Did I mention that I like to eat turkey and I have never eaten a peacock before (lol). Now that I said that is peacock edible (thinking.....smiles).

Agree or disagree comments are welcomed (kisses and hugs).

WHAT IS IT WITH NEW YEAR!!!.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (excited and screaming at the top of your voice)
Everybody is excited to see a new year, hugging the closest person to you, making phone calls to loved ones, sending broadcast messages on bbm, whatsapp, sending sms to friends even deciding to forgive the people who wronged us the previous year that ended.

It’s a fresh start, a new beginning, a clean slate is stretched out and the writing of another 365 days has begun. Faiths are held high,  hopes are kept up and like a child who just received a gift of a new toy, we keep our optimism high. Whether a Christian or not, we all are praying the new year is good to us, expectant of the year.

Target are set, resolutions are made, achievements to be made are listed out, things to be done, things not to do, friends to stay away from, friends to stay close to, a new idea to work on, previous ideas to improve on, each and everyone his own aspiration for the year.

A new year is like a wake up call for many of us. Haven lived a few years on earth, sometimes we loose track of time, purpose, faith, optimism, hardwork, achievement, targets, etc. We forget the only real new year we ever had was when we were born and every other new year is a wake up call to purpose. It’s a reminder to live life and to not just exist. Penning our names in the sands of time.

What are the lessons learnt the previous year, what are the mistakes made the previous year, what are our weaknesses, what were the things that stood in our way to becoming a better person, stopped us from helping others, it’s a wake up call to look back and forge ahead.

I personally don’t see life as a race but each day make steps. I don’t mock people who make resolutions, if that will help you make steps why not. Determination, discipline, diligence, strong-willed, never quitting, trustworthy, honesty, confidence, will get us to our aspirations. Standing on each of our laid out plan for the year, working on it and keeping our faith high even when all hopes are lost.

Sometimes all we need to see us through the year is the same optimism we started the year with.  Winners never quit but quitters never win.

I hope this write up helps us through the year. Agree or disagree, all comments are welcomed (kisses and hugs).